I just came through a two day period of absolute oppression right out of the pit of hell. My heart was weighted down with what felt like 50 pound sand bags. The sadness was bone marrow deep and I could not shake it. Sleep would not come no matter how hard I tried, or prayed. The following day was filled with endless tears, if I tried to talk about what was hurting; I felt like I could not breathe.
For weeks I have been claiming victory over a matter, I have lifted it up to God, believing Him for His perfect timing, and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is Sovereign, and he has a plan. I knew this to the very core of my being. I had been walking in His peace and resting in Him. So what happened? How did I end up feeling like I had been hit by a Semi full of doubt and guilt, hit so hard I felt I would need hospitalization. I felt my emotional life was about to have a crash course in “men in little white jackets”.
I had just come from visiting my adult son who is in a dual diagnosis clinic; he had been doing very well and shared some of his “work” with me. He had been able to express himself in Art Therapy and I found it very uplifting and hopeful to see him be able to express his emotions. He wanted to shared a song from his m3p player with me, I'll do the same with you...
“Call Me” by Shinedown
Wrap me in a bolt of lightning
Send me on my way still smiling
Maybe that's the way I should go,
Straight into the mouth of the unknown
I left the spare key on the table
Never really thought I'd be able to say
I merely visit on the weekends
I lost my whole life and a dear friend
I've said it so many times
I would change my ways
No, nevermind
God knows I've tried
[Chorus]
Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same
Call me your favorite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over I don't wan't you to hurt
It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way
I finally put it all together,
But nothing really lasts forever
I had to make a choice that was not mine,
I had to say goodbye for the last time
I kept my whole life in suitcase,
Never really stayed in one place
Maybe that's the way it should be,
You know I've led my life like a gypsy
I've said it so many times
I would change my ways
No, nevermind
God knows I've tried
[Chorus]
Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same
Call me your favorite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over I don't want you to hurt
It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way
I'll always keep you inside, you healed my
Heart and my life... And you know I try.
[Chorus]
Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same
Call me your favorite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over I don't want you to hurt
It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way
So, I'll be on my way
So, I'll be on my way
I can’t even explain what happened to me, tears fell from my eyes, as for the first time I felt like I could hear his pain and sense his feelings of rejection. It was as if those feelings were transferred on to me and bearing them was too heavy for me. My son sensing my distraught kept apologizing for making me cry. I soon found myself walking down the hall and as we embraced to say goodbye I thought for sure if I didn’t leave soon I would be finding a bed down the hall myself.
Once in my car I wept so hard I thought I could not breathe, this feeling stayed with for nearly 24 hours. My spirit was so oppressed with guilt; what had I done Lord that you have put this on my son. Why is he suffering with this mental illness and drug addiction? I could hear nothing from God, no word of condemnation, nor a word of relief. I spent my day saturated in sadness and guilt.
Late that afternoon a phone call came from my friend Gayle; I saw her number come up on the caller id at my office and I picked up the phone; she asked me how I was doing and a flood gate of emotion opened and once again I was rendered unable to breathe or speak. With difficult pauses I was able to state my heart was being ripped from me and I couldn’t even explain it. She walked beside me in spirit as I tried to put in words what I was experiencing, we both agreed that this was oppression and she prayed over me.
I wish I could tell you that I claimed scripture through the day, prayed endlessly to be released. I did not, I could not. I felt paralyzed just like the man in Luke 5 who could not himself come to Jesus but had to be carried.
Luke 5:18-20 (New International Version)
18Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. 19When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.
20When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven."
My dear friend carried me in the spirit of prayer to the feet of Jesus for release from this oppression. Jesus in his wonderful gift of grace released it; the power of the evil one was defeated at the cross and it was defeated in that moment of prayer. I am so very thankful for a friend who loves me and loves the Lord, who is not afraid or unable to carry a friend to the feet of Jesus, to stand in the gap as the men in Luke 5 did to see a friend healed.
God has always been faithful; and He continues to show me that He is. Even in being oppressed by the evil one He showed me His strength is greater than anything the evil one can throw at me. I am finding rest in the One who is able to do more than I could ever ask or hope for. And in this instance I was unable to ask, but God… was still able! HE is worthy of all my praise and adoration.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
A Mothers Pain – God Sees
Genesis 21:14 – 21 “Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the desert of Beersheba.
15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went off and sat down nearby, about a bowshot away, for she thought, "I cannot watch the boy die." And as she sat there nearby, she [c] began to sob.
17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation."
19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.
20 God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer. 21 While he was living in the Desert of Paran, his mother got a wife for him from Egypt.”
This has always been one of the hardest stories in the Bible for me to read. The pain a mother endures over her child is so heart wrenching. A mother’s love for the child of her womb is deeper then the very depths of the ocean. We mothers would do nearly anything to save our child from calamity, serious health issues, the snare of the evil one.
Hagar’s reaction could be every mother’s reaction. We set out with the very best of intentions to care for our children. Even if we have no clue what we are doing or where we are heading. Hagar and her son were sent packing after an incident and I’m sure she was bewildered as to where they would go or how she could possibly care for this growing boy. When the water runs out and exhaustion and dehydration set it; the child is too large to carry and Hagar herself mostly likely is also in a weakened state. She helps her boy lie down in the shade and she moves away a bit to cry. Both mother and child weep; neither wanting the other to hear. But God hears them.
As a mother of a child (young man now) in crisis I have always related to Hagar. Hagar’s son was never really accepted as the heir to Abraham, and as this scene plays out in Genesis 21 Sarah has had her fill of Hagar and her son. And both were pushed away. In this Chapter of Genesis the name that Hagar uses for God is “El Roi” The God who Sees. I am so very thankful that God sees everything. He heard her sons cries and responded. Oh the hope that should give us, I know it is a hope that I cling too.
Without going into a lot of detail, just know that I feel her pain. My son’s life has been racked with rejection, mental illness, and drug addiction. At this juncture of his life, this mother is sitting under the tree at a distance crying, while her son is under another doing the same. Unlike Hagar who didn’t know God until he revealed Himself to her that day, I do know Him; and I am crying out to El Roi, My God who sees.
15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went off and sat down nearby, about a bowshot away, for she thought, "I cannot watch the boy die." And as she sat there nearby, she [c] began to sob.
17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation."
19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.
20 God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer. 21 While he was living in the Desert of Paran, his mother got a wife for him from Egypt.”
This has always been one of the hardest stories in the Bible for me to read. The pain a mother endures over her child is so heart wrenching. A mother’s love for the child of her womb is deeper then the very depths of the ocean. We mothers would do nearly anything to save our child from calamity, serious health issues, the snare of the evil one.
Hagar’s reaction could be every mother’s reaction. We set out with the very best of intentions to care for our children. Even if we have no clue what we are doing or where we are heading. Hagar and her son were sent packing after an incident and I’m sure she was bewildered as to where they would go or how she could possibly care for this growing boy. When the water runs out and exhaustion and dehydration set it; the child is too large to carry and Hagar herself mostly likely is also in a weakened state. She helps her boy lie down in the shade and she moves away a bit to cry. Both mother and child weep; neither wanting the other to hear. But God hears them.
As a mother of a child (young man now) in crisis I have always related to Hagar. Hagar’s son was never really accepted as the heir to Abraham, and as this scene plays out in Genesis 21 Sarah has had her fill of Hagar and her son. And both were pushed away. In this Chapter of Genesis the name that Hagar uses for God is “El Roi” The God who Sees. I am so very thankful that God sees everything. He heard her sons cries and responded. Oh the hope that should give us, I know it is a hope that I cling too.
Without going into a lot of detail, just know that I feel her pain. My son’s life has been racked with rejection, mental illness, and drug addiction. At this juncture of his life, this mother is sitting under the tree at a distance crying, while her son is under another doing the same. Unlike Hagar who didn’t know God until he revealed Himself to her that day, I do know Him; and I am crying out to El Roi, My God who sees.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Getting Real
The last 4 weeks as I have worked through the “Seeking Him” workbook (by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Tim Grissom) it has been some of the hardest work I’ve had to do.
As I seek personal revival in my spiritual walk one of the themes that keeps hitting me is that I have to “get real” about where I am, where I’ve been and with what I still struggle. Not an easy endeavor I must admit. Staring at my-self in the mirror of Christ has been a stark contrast to where I thought I was. Let me share just a few of the first “getting personal” questions from week one;
• Do I love what God loves and hate what He hates?
• Am I willing to sacrifice whatever is necessary to see God move in my life and church (time, convenience, comfort, reputation, pleasure and so on?)
• Am I more concerned about what God thinks about my life then what others think?
I thought I loved what God loved and hated what He hated, but as I dug into what that looked like I was sadly mistaken. There were a number of places that I knew I sat on the fence, and even some places where I had to say… no… not that! So I climbed down off the fence, got on my knees before God, opened up my clenched fists and said “I don’t want this anymore” I want what you want, please take this and cover it once and for all with your Son’s blood. Help me to never look for it again. For I want to be like you, to love what you love and hate what you hate.
Sacrifice… again another word that hung heavily on my heart. Am I willing to give my time? I do. That one I could say a hearty yes to… but sometimes the time required isn’t convenient. I have to say that I have grumbled at the amount of time this revival process is taking, has taken out of my life, away from my beloved and my little man. And as it has gotten down and dirty with what God is calling me too… there is no way I could say it has been comfortable. Matter of fact it has been ugly and it has hurt. And just when my reputation has gotten to a place where I feel like I can hold my head up… God is calling me to completely humble myself. To admit that my first baptism at the age of 10 was a farce, that for 30 years I talked the talked but I wasn’t walking the walk. I carried the name Christian around like it was a name tag you wore. That if I’m honest, I got real about an intimate relationship with God 6 years ago, on my knees sobbing like a baby on my kitchen floor. That memory is burned into my heart. Twice now I have felt the call on my heart to “again” go through the waters of baptism… this time though… this time will be because I want to follow Jesus! not my friends.
I can honestly say that here in the 5th week of this process I can truly say I don’t care what others think about me, I care about what God thinks about me. I want what He wants, and I am willing to sacrifice for Him. I will submit and be re-baptized, because Its Him I want to please.
As I seek personal revival in my spiritual walk one of the themes that keeps hitting me is that I have to “get real” about where I am, where I’ve been and with what I still struggle. Not an easy endeavor I must admit. Staring at my-self in the mirror of Christ has been a stark contrast to where I thought I was. Let me share just a few of the first “getting personal” questions from week one;
• Do I love what God loves and hate what He hates?
• Am I willing to sacrifice whatever is necessary to see God move in my life and church (time, convenience, comfort, reputation, pleasure and so on?)
• Am I more concerned about what God thinks about my life then what others think?
I thought I loved what God loved and hated what He hated, but as I dug into what that looked like I was sadly mistaken. There were a number of places that I knew I sat on the fence, and even some places where I had to say… no… not that! So I climbed down off the fence, got on my knees before God, opened up my clenched fists and said “I don’t want this anymore” I want what you want, please take this and cover it once and for all with your Son’s blood. Help me to never look for it again. For I want to be like you, to love what you love and hate what you hate.
Sacrifice… again another word that hung heavily on my heart. Am I willing to give my time? I do. That one I could say a hearty yes to… but sometimes the time required isn’t convenient. I have to say that I have grumbled at the amount of time this revival process is taking, has taken out of my life, away from my beloved and my little man. And as it has gotten down and dirty with what God is calling me too… there is no way I could say it has been comfortable. Matter of fact it has been ugly and it has hurt. And just when my reputation has gotten to a place where I feel like I can hold my head up… God is calling me to completely humble myself. To admit that my first baptism at the age of 10 was a farce, that for 30 years I talked the talked but I wasn’t walking the walk. I carried the name Christian around like it was a name tag you wore. That if I’m honest, I got real about an intimate relationship with God 6 years ago, on my knees sobbing like a baby on my kitchen floor. That memory is burned into my heart. Twice now I have felt the call on my heart to “again” go through the waters of baptism… this time though… this time will be because I want to follow Jesus! not my friends.
I can honestly say that here in the 5th week of this process I can truly say I don’t care what others think about me, I care about what God thinks about me. I want what He wants, and I am willing to sacrifice for Him. I will submit and be re-baptized, because Its Him I want to please.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The Hit
It was about 4:30 am on a September morning in 1996. The phone rang with that eerie sound that only a call that early can make. As I guardedly picked up the phone and said hello; in a rush of panic it was my sister telling me my parents house had been hit by a car. That the oil tank, furnace and water main in the basement had taken the hit and there was 200 gallons of oil spilled and water was gushing all over the basement floor. An awful smell had filled the house as well as an oily vapor. My parents bedroom was on the first floor and the hit happened right there in the side of the foundation under their room. Both of my parents had been thrown from the bed in the impact. And my dad was having difficulty breathing… “come quick” was the last thing she said and she hung up.
I threw on some clothes and headed to my parents in the dark of that early morning. It was a 17 mile drive and I had no clue what I would find when I got there. As I approached the intersection just before the house there were fire trucks, police cars, ambulances, reporters. I was stopped by the police, as I explained I was family, they said “there has been a toxic spill we cannot let you drive down there, there could still be an explosion”. I was gripped with fear that my family home would go up in flames, but I parked right there and got passed the officer and headed to my family. Mom, Dad, and three of my sisters were on the neighbor’s lawn; half the neighborhood had been awakened and all were pajama clad watching this scene unfold.
This devastation happened in a matter of seconds when a drunk driver came speeding down the street at over 100 miles an hour and could not maneuver the slight curve in the road. The car hit the neighbors porch first then into the side of the stone foundation. As I stood there and looked at this old 1973 Maverick sticking out of the house, with nose buried right up to the windshield I wondered how the young man survived. He made it out of there with a broken leg and broken nose. Minor compared to what could have happened.
When I compare the devastation of my parent’s house to our spiritual lives I have to agree that I can just as quickly be destroyed, beaten down, crumble before God. Life happens and it’s trials and difficulties can come in the twinkling of an eye. My spiritual foundation can take a hit when; those I love and trust assail me with insults and innuendo, slander and gossip, divorce and abandonment. When the Dr’s report is one that says… “This is terminal”. Or my child is rebellious beyond comprehension or succumbs to drug addiction that I never saw coming. That is if my spiritual foundation is based on religion and works, neither of which matter much in the grand scheme of our sufferings. There are not enough good works, liturgy or behavioral modification plans that will keep any of these things or worse from coming into my life.
Luke 6:48
"48He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built."
My parents house was built in the early 1900, the foundation was field-stone. The hit it took that day sent those stones flying across the basement, literally there were huge stones scattered everywhere, and there were small stones that even ended up in the dryer on the exact opposite side of the basement. Older foundations like that one cannot withstand that kind of impact. Today’s concrete foundations are built with reinforcement rod throughout; its thickness’s are consistent and can withstand much.
I not only want a house foundation that will take a hit, I want, need, have to have a spiritual foundation that can too. The practice of religion is not, nor can it ever be a foundation that will withstand life’s hits. Jesus is the Rock on which we are to build our Spiritual foundation. Matt 16:18 tells us that Jesus is the Rock Peter is to build on. Likewise we are to do the same. Jesus is our Righteousness, without Him, anything we do is nothing more than wood hay and stubble (or field stones).
1 Corinthians 1:30 &31
"30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
After the accident at my parent’s home, the foundation was rebuilt, the house was lifted up and a NEW foundation was laid. One that was up to code (for 1996 anyway). With that, the floors which had their sway before, now lay level. The New Water meter and piping didn’t leak so the water bills were accurate and the New Oil tank, furnace (yes that too was destroyed) kept the house warmer and ran more efficiently. (as well as the new dryer).
Trials and sufferings come at times to knock down the old foundations of fieldstone, (religion, works etc) so that the Master builder can come in and give us a NEW Foundation. HIM. So that when the HITS come and they will, we survive in His strength and power. Let Him rebuild your foundation, put away anything that is not of Him for it won’t take the Hit.
I threw on some clothes and headed to my parents in the dark of that early morning. It was a 17 mile drive and I had no clue what I would find when I got there. As I approached the intersection just before the house there were fire trucks, police cars, ambulances, reporters. I was stopped by the police, as I explained I was family, they said “there has been a toxic spill we cannot let you drive down there, there could still be an explosion”. I was gripped with fear that my family home would go up in flames, but I parked right there and got passed the officer and headed to my family. Mom, Dad, and three of my sisters were on the neighbor’s lawn; half the neighborhood had been awakened and all were pajama clad watching this scene unfold.
This devastation happened in a matter of seconds when a drunk driver came speeding down the street at over 100 miles an hour and could not maneuver the slight curve in the road. The car hit the neighbors porch first then into the side of the stone foundation. As I stood there and looked at this old 1973 Maverick sticking out of the house, with nose buried right up to the windshield I wondered how the young man survived. He made it out of there with a broken leg and broken nose. Minor compared to what could have happened.
When I compare the devastation of my parent’s house to our spiritual lives I have to agree that I can just as quickly be destroyed, beaten down, crumble before God. Life happens and it’s trials and difficulties can come in the twinkling of an eye. My spiritual foundation can take a hit when; those I love and trust assail me with insults and innuendo, slander and gossip, divorce and abandonment. When the Dr’s report is one that says… “This is terminal”. Or my child is rebellious beyond comprehension or succumbs to drug addiction that I never saw coming. That is if my spiritual foundation is based on religion and works, neither of which matter much in the grand scheme of our sufferings. There are not enough good works, liturgy or behavioral modification plans that will keep any of these things or worse from coming into my life.
Luke 6:48
"48He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built."
My parents house was built in the early 1900, the foundation was field-stone. The hit it took that day sent those stones flying across the basement, literally there were huge stones scattered everywhere, and there were small stones that even ended up in the dryer on the exact opposite side of the basement. Older foundations like that one cannot withstand that kind of impact. Today’s concrete foundations are built with reinforcement rod throughout; its thickness’s are consistent and can withstand much.
I not only want a house foundation that will take a hit, I want, need, have to have a spiritual foundation that can too. The practice of religion is not, nor can it ever be a foundation that will withstand life’s hits. Jesus is the Rock on which we are to build our Spiritual foundation. Matt 16:18 tells us that Jesus is the Rock Peter is to build on. Likewise we are to do the same. Jesus is our Righteousness, without Him, anything we do is nothing more than wood hay and stubble (or field stones).
1 Corinthians 1:30 &31
"30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
After the accident at my parent’s home, the foundation was rebuilt, the house was lifted up and a NEW foundation was laid. One that was up to code (for 1996 anyway). With that, the floors which had their sway before, now lay level. The New Water meter and piping didn’t leak so the water bills were accurate and the New Oil tank, furnace (yes that too was destroyed) kept the house warmer and ran more efficiently. (as well as the new dryer).
Trials and sufferings come at times to knock down the old foundations of fieldstone, (religion, works etc) so that the Master builder can come in and give us a NEW Foundation. HIM. So that when the HITS come and they will, we survive in His strength and power. Let Him rebuild your foundation, put away anything that is not of Him for it won’t take the Hit.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Over Taken
I remember the days when I was absolutely smitten with my husband, those early days when my every thought was punctuated with him. When I rose in the morning my first thoughts turned to him, and my mind would whirl all day long with pieces of the moments we shared. I was head over heels with him. Over taken with a love for this man, a love I had never known before. If I asked you if you knew such a time in your own life, you could most likely echo back to me your own remembrances of being smitten. We know those feelings well. A love that transforms us, it causes us to be filled with happiness and brings a skip to our step.
I want to talk about a different love, a love so perfect and complete, a love that never disappoints our pushes us away. This is the love of Jesus. I have been over taken by it. It has become like a consuming fire in my very spirit.
I remember as a child of about 8 years old asking Jesus into my heart. I can still picture sitting in a room in my old church, with a couple of other young girls saying the words of the prayer. I lived years with Jesus as my Savior. I did my best to follow the example set by other older woman. I tried my hardest to change my behavior. Usually failing, and failing badly. I walked around holding a sign that said “Christian”, but I was not over taken.
There is no behavior modification plan I could put in place that would fill my heart. It took being in a place where I could do nothing myself to fix my brokenness, hearing about Jesus that loved me so completely even though I couldn't fix what was wrong, and believing that God was who He said he was before I bent the knee, both literally and figuratively. As I was studying a Beth Moore bible Study on “believing God” that’s when it happened. I climbed out of my chair and hit my knees. I asked him to fill me, to reveal himself to me. Just like those first few months after meeting my husband, that feeling of being smitten over came me. A love that had not let me go as a young child, was now alive and active in my being. I hungered for time with Him. I found myself having a love for His word, I would dig and search out a morsel of truth at a time. I wanted to know Him, to see Him for who He was.
Submitting my empty behavioral modification plan to him was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I had to stop believing that I was in control and could handle my own sanctification process. That all consuming love became the catalyst of turning it all over to Him. Off the throne; daily became my prayer. Jesus was no longer a part of my life, He was and is my life.
1 Peter 1: 18 – 23
18For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, 19but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. 21Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.
22Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.[b] 23For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.
I am so very thankful that Jesus has over taken me, that His love has redeemed me from an empty life. When you and I try in our own strengthen to change, it is a lie and it is empty. He longs to fill us with His complete love, a love that will over take us. When we try to live a ‘godly’ life with out being over taken by the Spirit of God and filled with Him. We live a lie, produced by self. Submitting to the work of the Spirit is the only thing that can produce a life worthy of the name Christian. Time to drop the sign and live in the Spirit. Be over taken by Him.
I want to talk about a different love, a love so perfect and complete, a love that never disappoints our pushes us away. This is the love of Jesus. I have been over taken by it. It has become like a consuming fire in my very spirit.
I remember as a child of about 8 years old asking Jesus into my heart. I can still picture sitting in a room in my old church, with a couple of other young girls saying the words of the prayer. I lived years with Jesus as my Savior. I did my best to follow the example set by other older woman. I tried my hardest to change my behavior. Usually failing, and failing badly. I walked around holding a sign that said “Christian”, but I was not over taken.
There is no behavior modification plan I could put in place that would fill my heart. It took being in a place where I could do nothing myself to fix my brokenness, hearing about Jesus that loved me so completely even though I couldn't fix what was wrong, and believing that God was who He said he was before I bent the knee, both literally and figuratively. As I was studying a Beth Moore bible Study on “believing God” that’s when it happened. I climbed out of my chair and hit my knees. I asked him to fill me, to reveal himself to me. Just like those first few months after meeting my husband, that feeling of being smitten over came me. A love that had not let me go as a young child, was now alive and active in my being. I hungered for time with Him. I found myself having a love for His word, I would dig and search out a morsel of truth at a time. I wanted to know Him, to see Him for who He was.
Submitting my empty behavioral modification plan to him was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I had to stop believing that I was in control and could handle my own sanctification process. That all consuming love became the catalyst of turning it all over to Him. Off the throne; daily became my prayer. Jesus was no longer a part of my life, He was and is my life.
1 Peter 1: 18 – 23
18For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, 19but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. 21Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.
22Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.[b] 23For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.
I am so very thankful that Jesus has over taken me, that His love has redeemed me from an empty life. When you and I try in our own strengthen to change, it is a lie and it is empty. He longs to fill us with His complete love, a love that will over take us. When we try to live a ‘godly’ life with out being over taken by the Spirit of God and filled with Him. We live a lie, produced by self. Submitting to the work of the Spirit is the only thing that can produce a life worthy of the name Christian. Time to drop the sign and live in the Spirit. Be over taken by Him.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Prepare Your Minds
Our minds are our greatest battlefield. it is there that we initially believe in anything. There are a mulitiude of books written on this subject. One that I have read "As a Man Thinketh" By James Allen; This "classic" has been around since the turn of the century and it seems to be even more relevant in today's stressful and competitive society. As Allen states, "a man is literally what he thinks", or as the saying goes, garbage in, garbage out! Or put another way, "All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts."
I have learned that I cannot blame others for my life, or my state of affairs - they very well can be my creation, the end product of my thoughts and actions. Allen states that "man makes or unmakes himself by the thoughts he keeps and cultivates. Man truly is his own worst enemy!" Allen goes on the say "Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplish anything, and never can. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in."
How profound and how true. How we let fear run our lives - again proving how powerful our thoughts can be.
That is what man has to say about preparing our minds. Allen's self-help style book has indeed helped many find ways to think their way to a positive life, but God has something even more for us. Positive thoughts are great but when we apply His ways and not just the "positive thoughts" what a profound transformation of our minds that will come about; So what does God have to say;
I Peter 1: 13 - 16 Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do, for it is written "Be Holy, because I am Holy.
God and Allen have something in common. Both state that our minds need to be prepared. But they differ in what we are to prepare them with. Allen wants us to replace fear and doubt with "positive thoughts" That can be a pretty wide field, as one mans positive thought might be another mans undoing. But God says: Focus on the Grace I am offering you. Jesus the gift of Grace given you when He was revealed, fill your mind with him. Now that is the true "power of positive thinking". When I focus on Him, he will remove my fears and doubts and replace them with his protection and will.
I've read alot of "self-Help style books over the years, I guess I need to know the "how to". The Bible is one of the best self-help books I have ever picked up.
I Peter 1: 13-16 lays it right out there. It starts with telling us we need to be self-controlled, not in a self over God way. But in a submitting self to God way, as we can never truly control our selves. It's when we submit self to the Holy Spirit we will be able to begin to prepare our minds, then we are to focus on His grace, which then will lead to living obediently, and not conforming to this worlds evil desires. And then Peter ends with; In all of this he longs for us to be Holy as He is holy.
We start with Prepare your Mind and end with Be Holy. That's a huge undertaken if done in the flesh. There are not enough "positive thoughts" I could fill my fleshly mind with to produce Holiness. I pray that as I focus on His Grace I can then be Holy as He is Holy.
I have learned that I cannot blame others for my life, or my state of affairs - they very well can be my creation, the end product of my thoughts and actions. Allen states that "man makes or unmakes himself by the thoughts he keeps and cultivates. Man truly is his own worst enemy!" Allen goes on the say "Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplish anything, and never can. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in."
How profound and how true. How we let fear run our lives - again proving how powerful our thoughts can be.
That is what man has to say about preparing our minds. Allen's self-help style book has indeed helped many find ways to think their way to a positive life, but God has something even more for us. Positive thoughts are great but when we apply His ways and not just the "positive thoughts" what a profound transformation of our minds that will come about; So what does God have to say;
I Peter 1: 13 - 16 Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do, for it is written "Be Holy, because I am Holy.
God and Allen have something in common. Both state that our minds need to be prepared. But they differ in what we are to prepare them with. Allen wants us to replace fear and doubt with "positive thoughts" That can be a pretty wide field, as one mans positive thought might be another mans undoing. But God says: Focus on the Grace I am offering you. Jesus the gift of Grace given you when He was revealed, fill your mind with him. Now that is the true "power of positive thinking". When I focus on Him, he will remove my fears and doubts and replace them with his protection and will.
I've read alot of "self-Help style books over the years, I guess I need to know the "how to". The Bible is one of the best self-help books I have ever picked up.
I Peter 1: 13-16 lays it right out there. It starts with telling us we need to be self-controlled, not in a self over God way. But in a submitting self to God way, as we can never truly control our selves. It's when we submit self to the Holy Spirit we will be able to begin to prepare our minds, then we are to focus on His grace, which then will lead to living obediently, and not conforming to this worlds evil desires. And then Peter ends with; In all of this he longs for us to be Holy as He is holy.
We start with Prepare your Mind and end with Be Holy. That's a huge undertaken if done in the flesh. There are not enough "positive thoughts" I could fill my fleshly mind with to produce Holiness. I pray that as I focus on His Grace I can then be Holy as He is Holy.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Do you know what you have?
Ephesains 1: 3 – 14
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
11In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.
We have every Spiritual Blessing in Christ:
• We have been chosen in Him
• He has made us Holy and blameless in His sight
• We have been adopted as His sons
• We are His pleasure and part of His will
• We have been given Redemption through His blood
• Which includes Forgivness of Sins
• We have the incomparable riches of God’s Grace
• We have His Wisdom and understanding lavished on us
• He has made known His will to us
• We are under Him
• He has worked out everything
• We are included with Christ
• Marked with a seal; the Holy Spirit!
• We are His inheritance.
Do we grasp what is ours in Christ?
Do we see that each of these statements are past tense. It has already happened. It was ours before we even knowingly became His. The Christian life is the process of becoming what you already are in Christ.
Lets look at the difference between the polliwog and a child. A polliwog is born as a shapeless mass with a tail. After a while it sprouts some legs. Eventually it takes the form of a frog or a toad. But when a human baby is born it comes with all the necessary parts--they just need to grow. The same thing is true of a Christian. When you were born into the family of God, you were not a spiritual polliwog. You were complete. You have all the parts of a Christian; you simply need to grow.
When God saves a person, that work is total and complete. He stands perfect before God. The rest of his life is just a matter of growing so his practice will match his position. Christian maturity is like a baby learning to use all the parts they were given at birth.
Instead of seeking more favor with God or trying to be more “perfect” for heaven, we should thank God, who has " qualified you[a] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. " (Col. 1:12). We are already perfected for heaven. Nothing we do will make God love us more than He already does.
When we know what we have in Christ as it clearly states in Ephesians 1:3-14, that ought to change the way we live. People will not have a desire to live righteously unless they understand who they are. The mature Christian understands his privileges, possessions, and resources so he can live consistently with who he is in Christ.
Do you know what you have?
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
11In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.
We have every Spiritual Blessing in Christ:
• We have been chosen in Him
• He has made us Holy and blameless in His sight
• We have been adopted as His sons
• We are His pleasure and part of His will
• We have been given Redemption through His blood
• Which includes Forgivness of Sins
• We have the incomparable riches of God’s Grace
• We have His Wisdom and understanding lavished on us
• He has made known His will to us
• We are under Him
• He has worked out everything
• We are included with Christ
• Marked with a seal; the Holy Spirit!
• We are His inheritance.
Do we grasp what is ours in Christ?
Do we see that each of these statements are past tense. It has already happened. It was ours before we even knowingly became His. The Christian life is the process of becoming what you already are in Christ.
Lets look at the difference between the polliwog and a child. A polliwog is born as a shapeless mass with a tail. After a while it sprouts some legs. Eventually it takes the form of a frog or a toad. But when a human baby is born it comes with all the necessary parts--they just need to grow. The same thing is true of a Christian. When you were born into the family of God, you were not a spiritual polliwog. You were complete. You have all the parts of a Christian; you simply need to grow.
When God saves a person, that work is total and complete. He stands perfect before God. The rest of his life is just a matter of growing so his practice will match his position. Christian maturity is like a baby learning to use all the parts they were given at birth.
Instead of seeking more favor with God or trying to be more “perfect” for heaven, we should thank God, who has " qualified you[a] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. " (Col. 1:12). We are already perfected for heaven. Nothing we do will make God love us more than He already does.
When we know what we have in Christ as it clearly states in Ephesians 1:3-14, that ought to change the way we live. People will not have a desire to live righteously unless they understand who they are. The mature Christian understands his privileges, possessions, and resources so he can live consistently with who he is in Christ.
Do you know what you have?
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